Whether you just turned 18 or in your early-mid 20s, finding out that you're going to be a mother soon may always be a shock of news. A list of questions will keep on going one after the other -- whether you'r married or not.
It's perfectly normal. You're not alone. So... RELAX & BREATHE. I know it's easier said than done, but overthinking will not get you anywhere. If you let your emotions (more like hormones) get into you, there is no doubt that you might rush into decisions and/or actions that you, yourself, might regret later on.
Open up to your best friend. More importantly, let your partner know about it. Express yourself on how you feel about this -- and if they ask you what your plan is, know that it is definitely normal to say that you don't know yet. Opening up to your best friend and/or your partner about this could lead them to expressing their opinions about the situation, nevertheless, at the end of the day, the final call is yours. Don't take their opinions as an influence for your stand because first of all it is your child in your womb.
There can be too many voices inside your head after opening up to them. So this is the part wherein you need to take in some time to have a moment of peace and clear your mind. Different influences may affect you -- which is not good for you and the baby's health -- so even with all those voices in your head, try to stay calm, focused, and more importantly, rational.
For those who are still young and/or not yet married, I know this could probably be one of those moments wherein you wish did not need to happen. But apart from the feeling of need to tell them, your parents are the ones who will provide you the most important thing that you will need at a situation like this -- moral guidance.
Your parents reactions may vary. They can get mad and be disappointed, saddened and shocked, or happy and overwhelmed. At the end of the day, this is your family. Your family will always love and accept you -- they will be there to guide you and be there for you all throughout the journey.
Easier said than done, but trust me, confronting your parents about this should be the least of your worries. :)
Also, with having a year to take care of yourself and your baby, it would be the perfect time for you to reevaluate your priorities and make long-term plans/decisions.
I know more and more women are focused into finishing their studies, start to become career-driven nowadays, and work harder for a better standard of living, but all of that will fall into place for as long as you're driven -- and more importantly, you won't only do it for yourself, but for your baby as well. The only time that your hard work will be put into waste is when you start thinking about it negatively instead of analyzing the situation and plan thoroughly on what you should do next. This is neither the part for encouragement nor optimism, rather, it is putting yourself into a journey of seeing things on the lighter side with much rationality and pragmatism.
Make contingency plans and try to imagine different scenarios. Mind over matter. :)
I won't lie... As a soon to be young and solo mother, facing this challenge won't be easy.
These are matters that you need to discuss with your family and your partner -- regardless of whether he will marry you or not and/or recognize the child to be his or not. Remember that this is a shared responsibility and that you should be the one to drive down the path for the health and well-being of your baby. Never hesitate to ask for help and when the opportunity is there, always accept any form of help from your family and friends.
Also, your lifestyle preference/s might need to change... If you used to have weekly mani-pedi sessions, morning Starbucks routines, monthly shopping splurges, and all of the other things you could think of, you need to reconsider sacrificing those for a while. Even the smallest changes like a 20-peso bill or even less could mean a lot -- trust me, saving at least 20-50pesos a day could mean a lot such as future expenses for buying diapers or even expenses for your baby's Baptism celebration. You'll be surprised on how much you've saved up in a few months.
Buy what you can already buy as early as your 4th month in pregnancy...
These include feeding bottles, socks & mittens, or anything that you think is essential for your baby. Make a list of all necessary things and search up its price range.
Also, do not feel embarrassed to ask for hand-me-downs such as maternity clothes, baby clothes from your friends and/or relatives, and others. :)
You would firstly want to ask either your friends or your relatives if they know an obgyn and if they could recommend one. But just in case, I've provided a list of obgyns with short notes to help you out.
Dr. Marilyn David-Ruaro
Dr. Rowena Rivera
Dr. Gloria de Guzman
Dr. Jing Fernandez
Dr. Catherine Pangilinan
Dr. Juanita Lee
Keep in mind that it's also perfectly normal to keep changing your obgyn until you've found the one that you're really comfortable with. As for me, I changed 3 times! So, hunt for an obgyn that you'd feel comfortable with may get a little tedious. :)
I hope this was somehow helpful to fellow future mothers and other readers out there!
Until next time <3
But here are some of the questions that I could give some answers to:
1. What am I going to do?
2. How do I tell my parents? (for those who are not married and/or still young)
3. What am I going to with my career/studies?
4. How will I manage my finances/expenses?
5. Which obgyn and hospital should I go to with limited benefits?
So, I answered these questions accordingly and hope that it would also help you along the way. :)
So, I answered these questions accordingly and hope that it would also help you along the way. :)
Warning: Long post ahead
First things first.
After you've taken those pregnancy test kits that you bought from either Watson's or Mercury Drug and you see those 2 lines that signals that you're pregnant, two things happen: you either break down/start denying that you are pregnant or start crying out of joy.
Whether you're ready or not, it's already there.
It's perfectly normal. You're not alone. So... RELAX & BREATHE. I know it's easier said than done, but overthinking will not get you anywhere. If you let your emotions (more like hormones) get into you, there is no doubt that you might rush into decisions and/or actions that you, yourself, might regret later on.
Open up to your best friend. More importantly, let your partner know about it. Express yourself on how you feel about this -- and if they ask you what your plan is, know that it is definitely normal to say that you don't know yet. Opening up to your best friend and/or your partner about this could lead them to expressing their opinions about the situation, nevertheless, at the end of the day, the final call is yours. Don't take their opinions as an influence for your stand because first of all it is your child in your womb.
There can be too many voices inside your head after opening up to them. So this is the part wherein you need to take in some time to have a moment of peace and clear your mind. Different influences may affect you -- which is not good for you and the baby's health -- so even with all those voices in your head, try to stay calm, focused, and more importantly, rational.
Confronting Your Parents
For those who are still young and/or not yet married, I know this could probably be one of those moments wherein you wish did not need to happen. But apart from the feeling of need to tell them, your parents are the ones who will provide you the most important thing that you will need at a situation like this -- moral guidance.
Your parents reactions may vary. They can get mad and be disappointed, saddened and shocked, or happy and overwhelmed. At the end of the day, this is your family. Your family will always love and accept you -- they will be there to guide you and be there for you all throughout the journey.
Easier said than done, but trust me, confronting your parents about this should be the least of your worries. :)
Dominic Torreto, Fast & Furious 6
Studies. Career. Sacrifice or What?
You don't have to sacrifice anything with regards to your studies and/or career! Sure, you might get delayed by a year or so, but that doesn't mean you have have to stop everything that you've worked for. Never think that you can't accomplish everything that you have worked for just because you'll be delayed for a year or so -- think of it that you even have to do more and work harder for yourself and for your baby.Also, with having a year to take care of yourself and your baby, it would be the perfect time for you to reevaluate your priorities and make long-term plans/decisions.
I know more and more women are focused into finishing their studies, start to become career-driven nowadays, and work harder for a better standard of living, but all of that will fall into place for as long as you're driven -- and more importantly, you won't only do it for yourself, but for your baby as well. The only time that your hard work will be put into waste is when you start thinking about it negatively instead of analyzing the situation and plan thoroughly on what you should do next. This is neither the part for encouragement nor optimism, rather, it is putting yourself into a journey of seeing things on the lighter side with much rationality and pragmatism.
Make contingency plans and try to imagine different scenarios. Mind over matter. :)
Finances & Expenses
I won't lie... As a soon to be young and solo mother, facing this challenge won't be easy.
No challenge is easy & note that I used the term challenge not problem... :)
These are matters that you need to discuss with your family and your partner -- regardless of whether he will marry you or not and/or recognize the child to be his or not. Remember that this is a shared responsibility and that you should be the one to drive down the path for the health and well-being of your baby. Never hesitate to ask for help and when the opportunity is there, always accept any form of help from your family and friends.
Also, your lifestyle preference/s might need to change... If you used to have weekly mani-pedi sessions, morning Starbucks routines, monthly shopping splurges, and all of the other things you could think of, you need to reconsider sacrificing those for a while. Even the smallest changes like a 20-peso bill or even less could mean a lot -- trust me, saving at least 20-50pesos a day could mean a lot such as future expenses for buying diapers or even expenses for your baby's Baptism celebration. You'll be surprised on how much you've saved up in a few months.
Buy what you can already buy as early as your 4th month in pregnancy...
These include feeding bottles, socks & mittens, or anything that you think is essential for your baby. Make a list of all necessary things and search up its price range.
Also, do not feel embarrassed to ask for hand-me-downs such as maternity clothes, baby clothes from your friends and/or relatives, and others. :)
Hospital Expenses & Recommended Ob-Gyns
You would firstly want to ask either your friends or your relatives if they know an obgyn and if they could recommend one. But just in case, I've provided a list of obgyns with short notes to help you out.
Dr. Marilyn David-Ruaro
- Dr. Ruaro finished her pre-med in UP Diliman as Summa Cum Laude & continued her proper med in UP Manila.
- She's been practicing for nearly 40 years.
- Her clinic is in Manila Doctors Hospital, but she is also affiliated in Medical City Pasig and has a private clinic in Richmonde Plaza (behind Richmonde Hotel Ortigas)
- She has her own ultrasound in her clinic at Richmonde Plaza which makes it really convenient for you so that you don't have to go somewhere else and she always uses the ultrasound to check on your baby for every appointment
- By appointment only! She's very strict with time! You can make an appointment by contacting her very reliable secretary, Ms. Ester: 09178063233
- She's a bit pricey; PhP800 consultation fee + PhP900 ultrasound = PhP1,700 for ever appointment
- Her PF for NSD is PhP40,000 alone and PhP95,000 for cesarian -- this does not include the PF of the anesthesiologist and pediatrician.
Dr. Rowena Rivera
- Dr. Rivera finished her proper med in UERMM and has been practicing for 30+ years
- She also used to be the head/director of the Ob/Gyn Department in The Medical City Pasig
- PhP500 consultation fee
- She has a lot patients and you really can't set an appointment with her. So sometimes, you could wait for 2-3 hours...
- Her clinic is at Rm. 511 The Medical City Pasig and you may call in her direct line: 6312926
Dr. Gloria de Guzman
- Dr. de Guzman is in the same batch as Dr. Rivera; they both finished their proper med in UERMM
- She has a lot of clinics -- all are in the side of Marikina and Cainta.
- Her consultation fee ranges from PhP300-500 depending on which clinic you go to
- She also has a lot of patients, especially if you go to her clinic in Marikina Valley Medical Center; if you hate the hassle of long lines, you can go to her San Roque Maternity Clinic; 6454586/9330279
- Her PF for NSD is roughly PhP20,000-25,000 and PhP40,000-45,000 for cesarian
Dr. Jing Fernandez
- Dr. Fernandez has been practicing for 25 years or more.
- She has a clinic in both St. Lukes Global (BGC) and St. Luke's QC
- You may contact her in these numbers: St. Luke's Global - 7877700 Loc. 7811 and St. Luke's QC - 7230101 Loc. 6212
- Her consultation fee is PhP500
- Her rate for NSD is more or less PhP100,000 which includes her PF, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, and a small private room in either St. Lukes BGC or QC.
Dr. Catherine Pangilinan
- Dr. Pangilinan has been practicing for 25 years or more.
- Her clinics are in St. Luke's QC and Jesus Delgado Memorial Hospital.
- You may contact her in these numbers: St. Luke's QC - 7230101 Loc. 6572 and Delgado Hospital with Loc. 2360
- Her consultation fee is PhP500
- Her PF for NSD is more or less PhP25,000; excluding the PF for both anesthesiologist & pediatrician and other hospital bills (i.e rooms and anesthesia)
Dr. Juanita Lee
- Dr. Juanita has been practicing for 42 years; you might think that she's old, but she still has a lot of patients -- which means she's that good! :)
- Her clinic is in Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital; this hospital has been known as one of the best birthing hospitals in the country along with Delgado Hospital.
- You may contact her in this number: 7168001 Loc. 6381
- Her clinic opens at 1pm, but you might need to get there at 11:30 to be the first one in line and avoid the long queue and best to go there on a weekday. Trust me, she has a lot of patients lol
- Her consultation fee is less than PhP500
- As for her PF for NSD, it is PhP70,000 which also includes the PF of both anesthesiologist & pediatrician, anesthesia, and a small private room
Keep in mind that it's also perfectly normal to keep changing your obgyn until you've found the one that you're really comfortable with. As for me, I changed 3 times! So, hunt for an obgyn that you'd feel comfortable with may get a little tedious. :)
I hope this was somehow helpful to fellow future mothers and other readers out there!
Until next time <3